Clarity and Confidence for Couples at a Crossroads
Not every couple comes to therapy ready to work on the relationship. Sometimes, one partner is leaning out while the other is leaning in. One may be asking, “Can this marriage be saved?” while the other wonders if it’s already too late.
This uncertainty can feel incredibly painful. You may not know whether to start counseling, separate, or just wait it out. That’s where Discernment Counseling can help.
What is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling is a short-term, structured process designed for couples who are unsure about the future of their marriage. Unlike traditional couples therapy, it’s not about fixing problems right away. Instead, it’s about slowing down, understanding what has brought you to this point, and making a thoughtful decision about the next step.
How It Helps Couples in Uncertain Times
Gain clarity about whether your marriage can be repaired.
Explore your individual motivations and feelings in a supportive setting.
Understand your options—rebuild, separate, or pause—with more confidence.
Move forward with respect, no matter which path you choose.
Why Choose This Approach?
Discernment Counseling is especially helpful for what’s known as “mixed-agenda” couples—where one partner wants to save the marriage, and the other is unsure or considering leaving.
Most therapists are trained only in ongoing couples therapy, which assumes both partners are equally committed to repair. My training in Discernment Counseling allows me to support couples who aren’t there yet—offering guidance that meets you where you truly are.
A Compassionate Space for Big Decisions
Deciding the future of your marriage is one of the hardest choices you’ll ever face. You don’t have to navigate it alone. My role is not to push you toward one outcome, but to provide a caring, structured process that helps you and your partner move forward with honesty and clarity.
Discernment Counseling – FAQ
Q: How is Discernment Counseling different from couples therapy?
A: Traditional couples therapy assumes both partners are committed to working on the marriage. Discernment Counseling is different—it’s designed for couples where one or both partners are unsure. Instead of diving into problem-solving, we focus on clarity, understanding, and deciding whether to pursue therapy, separate, or pause.
Q: How many sessions does Discernment Counseling take?
A: It’s intentionally brief. Most couples complete the process in 1–5 sessions. The goal isn’t to fix everything right away—it’s to help you gain enough clarity to choose your next step.
Q: What happens if we decide to work on the marriage?
A: If both partners choose to try rebuilding, we can transition into Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). You’ll already have new insights from the discernment process, which makes therapy more effective.
Q: What if we decide to separate?
A: Discernment Counseling can help you move toward that choice with honesty and respect. Many couples say this process helped them avoid blame and regret, even if they chose to part ways.
Q: Can Discernment Counseling save our marriage?
A: The purpose isn’t to save or end the marriage—it’s to give you both the space, structure, and clarity to make that decision thoughtfully. Whatever the outcome, the goal is that you both feel more confident and less stuck.